jims@sfsalvo.com

Mom. 44 - 54

Tom. 22 - 32

Bill. Attendant. Dressed in white. 25 – 55. Wears a cross-shaped earring.

Sheila. Attendant. Dressed in white. 25 – 35.

Mr. White. Supervisor.

Dr. Murphy. Director.

Outside attendant.

Audience. Various.

MOM

How long do I have?

BILL

23 minutes.

MOM

I had a two-hour appointment.

BILL

Sorry. That’s what they told me. We have to go by that.

MOM

It was all that time I spent with what’s-his-name. Your boss.

BILL

You want to talk to Mr. White some more?

MOM

No I don’t. I just want that time. I’m going to get that boy out of here. Today.

BILL

You need to talk to Mr. White about that.

MOM

I’ve had enough of him.

BILL

I’m going to miss lunch. Again.

SHEILA

Think of the money.

BILL

Choir practice tonight.

SHEILA

I liked the picnic.

MOM

Tommy, you look good.

TOM

I do good. I am good.

MOM

Of course you are. Wait’ll I show you what I bought. I was so glad you called. It’s been so long. Is it okay to show him now?

SHIELA

Sure. Show him.

MOM

They searched it already.

MOM

Just what you asked for.

TOM

That’s what I wanted.

MOM

Stand up. Try it on.

TOM

Just put them back in the bag.

MOM

You can put them over your pajamas. No one cares. Try them on. Look. And a shirt too.

SHEILA

They look real nice, Tom. Nice material.

MOM

Never needs ironing.

TOM

Probably lasts forever.

MOM

Cheaper than cotton too. Just hold them up in front of you. See if they fit.

TOM

I’m sure they do. You know my size.

MOM

Come on. Stand up. I’ll hold them up for you.

BILL

I’ll put them in the bag and take them back to your room, Tom.

MOM

But you won’t know. Not for sure. It’ll be too late then. Hold them up against you. Or I’ll hold them up. That way, you always look neat. So if you go look for a job. Or something.

And socks and underwear. Nobody sees them. And shoes. Everybody’s wearing these now. You don’t want old shoes. Out there. Everywhere you go. The mall. Super market. You’d look nice. If they fit. Anyway, I got a trailer. Across town.

TOM

Double-wide.

MOM

No. But it’s got two bedrooms. They’re so easy to keep. Just hose down the outside. Two bedrooms. One for you.

TOM

Here in town.

MOM

Over by the highway.

TOM

Air conditioning.

MOM

Sure, but it’s broke. It’s an old trailer.

TOM

Waiting by the freeway. It begins to hiss at dawn.

MOM

It’s right by the off ramp. You want to come home. That’s what you said. I’m so glad. Finally.

TOM

I want to leave.

MOM

Go to school. You want to make money, don’t you? Not right away. But later?

TOM

I’m getting out.

MOM

Now you’ve got the clothes.

TOM

I do.

MOM

You don’t have to work. When you leave. Never, if you want. I don’t care. They’ll put you on disability. Direct deposit. There’s just us.

TOM

Ma, I left some books at your old house.

MOM

That’s right. I moved them. Twice.

TOM

You can have them.

MOM

Well you’re going to be there.

TOM

You keep them, if you want.

MOM

If you give them to me, I’ll just probably sell them at the flea market. They’re too hard for me.

TOM

Sell them. They’re yours.

MOM

Maybe you want to read them some more.

TOM

I want my ashes to be shot out of a cannon. Over the ocean. Or if that’s too much trouble, just dumped.

MOM

What are you talking about? You’re coming to live with me.

TOM

There’s other possibilities.

MOM

You can’t live on your own.

TOM

Who said so?

MOM

You never have.

TOM

I’ve always lived on my own.

MOM

You don’t want to live with strangers.

TOM

I always do.

MOM

They want me to sign the papers.

TOM

I knew I could count on you.

MOM

I’ll sign them. No problem. Tommy, you have to make sense of your life.

TOM

Too late to make another mother. How you going to live forever now?

MOM

You shouldn’t talk that way.

TOM

You prefer weddings.

MOM

I wish you’d come home.

TOM

Suddenly, you’re here.

MOM

No. I tried to see you. Before.

TOM

What did I look like?

MOM

Who you are.

TOM

Who’s that?

MOM

I tried to visit. You wouldn’t accept visitors.

TOM

Who told you that?

MOM

They looked it up. On the computer.

TOM

The computers will figure it out. We’ll be happy then.

MOM

You must have told somebody something.

TOM

I tell lots of people lots of things.

MOM

I tried to see you.

TOM

Welcome to the food chain.

MOM

You have to do more than say you want to get out. If you say you’re sorry, they’ll bump you up. Then you could go home.

TOM

Who said?

MOM

The director. What’s his name. Dr. Murphy.

TOM

The Angel of Death? You believe Angel of Death Murphy?

MOM

That’s what Mr. White told me.

TOM

He tells lots of people lots of things. He gets paid to say things.

MOM

Maybe it’s true. There’s a chance.

TOM

If you want me to lie, get in line.

MOM

Not lie.

TOM

You sure now?

MOM

I’m sure.

TOM

Being honest gets you room and board.

MOM

I’m not asking you to lie. Just say you’re sorry.

TOM

I’d do it all over again and again. If they let me come home. With you. Every day. Forever. Besides everything else. I’d do it again. Where is he?

MOM

I don’t live with nobody now.

TOM

You could. You would. You always did. I always will. Merry go round with the little horsies to ride. You know. You put me here.

MOM

It’s better than prison.

TOM

Lots.

MOM

Make friends with the attendants. They give you a rating. Mr. White gives you a rating too. Dr. Murphy looks at the ratings. He evaluates them.

TOM

That’s what he does.

MOM

You’re getting worse. Not better. You have to get out of here. You can just stay at home. You have to have someplace to go. There’re not going to just let you walk out of here. I’ll sign.

TOM

There’s a cheaper way. Bill’s smart. He’ll figure it out. He’s an agent. He steals too.

MOM

They ask my opinion. Of course I’ll say ‘yes’.

TOM

That’s worth a lot.

MOM

You could get married, Tom. You had a girl.

TOM

She had me. That’s the difference and long live it.

MOM

I saw her. Just last month.

TOM

How many carriages did she miss?

MOM

She had a shopping basket. At the K Market. She was alone.

TOM

You don’t want that. If she’s got a triplet or two, that’s news for you. Some mom hits the jackpot. Not me. Unless they’re mine. In that case, you can have them all. Until they get away.

MOM

She asked about you.

TOM

What would I have said?

MOM

I said I was going to see you soon.

TOM

Tell her to buy low and sell high. Tell her bye for me.

MOM

I saw your friend, too. Jesse.

TOM

He’d die young but he’s so tame. The cheap stuff. Can’t live without a liver though. He’ll hit fifty before the wall hits him. I’m your son, Maw. Please. Help me. Bring me something.

MOM

You were a smart boy.

TOM

Save us all some money.

MOM

You could go back to school. You could go to college.

TOM

Those college boys! They live a long time sitting and typing and staring and thinking and marrying. Some passed-over bird wants her own geek to smother. 

MOM
What are you talking about? 

TOM:

Her own dweebs to feed, a pair of twins in a crib, looking out at the world like a sack full of kittens on the way to the pond.

MOM

Everybody wants children. 

TOM

Too bad she needs a man at all. Such a waste of time, Ma. There’s another way a coming. If you could just hang on another hundred years, we don’t need to talk. Things’ll be on sale then.

MOM

Don’t you even care about your friends?

MOM

Whatever it is. Whatever you want. You can have it out there.

TOM

Did you bring the poison?

MOM

I didn’t bring anything.

TOM

Did you bring the gun?

MOM

I brung you some clothes.

TOM

You didn’t bring the poison.

MOM

I’m you’re mother.

TOM

I can tell. You want me to live. Bring me the rat bait. Then I’ll believe you. It’s cheap enough.

MOM

They said they’d make him better.

TOM

I am better. It’s the world that’s the same.

MOM

I can’t stand it.

TOM

You’ve only been here a little while.

MOM

Sheila, it’s never been easy. Living off welfare half the time. Working in a gas station. You got kids.

BILL

We’re not supposed to talk to visitors during visitation. Unless you want to leave. Do you want to leave? I’ll knock on the door.

TOM

Don’t have to knock. They can see. They can hear. They’re in the booth. Just say you want to leave, Maw. They’ll let you out right away. They like you. You lie good.

MOM

I know you got kids. A little one at home.

TOM

Mom’s got a secret baby too. West coast style. Time’s toys.

BILL

There’s not a lot of time left. You finished? You want me to knock?

MOM

I know. Believe me. I know.

TOM

If you keep quiet about it, they’ll make you live.

MOM

You got kids, Sheila. You know.

SHEILA

Let me know when you want to go.

MOM

I’m talking about making something possible.

MOM

Bill? You got a family?

TOM

Unless you lost them somehow.

MOM

I’m talking to Bill. You got a brother, Bill? A sister? Bill, listen to me.

TOM

Bill’s had a woman. Just ask Maria.

MOM

I’m talking to Bill.

TOM

He’s been here longer than me.

MOM

Bill, there’s always someone. Tell him, Sheila.

BILL

I don’t really have anyone around here.

MOM

You love someone, don’t you Bill? Girlfriend? Jesus? Do you love Jesus, Bill?

TOM

There’s no one in the booth today. Saves money.

BILL
We follow the rules. Whether there’s anyone in the booth or not.

SHEILA

He’s got a heart. It’s way in there, but he’s got one.

MOM

Sheila, you understand, don’t you? You know where I’m coming from?

SHEILA

I understand.

MOM

I got to get him out.

SHEILA

Talk to Mr. White. He might talk to Dr. Murphy about it.

MOM

I can’t talk to him any more. They didn’t fix him.

TOM

They fixed Maria.

MOM

Anyone can hand out pills. This place is no good for you. Sheila, what kind of a hospital is this?

TOM

The animals will be glad when we’re gone.

SHEILA

It’s Mr. Murphy’s hospital. He’s been here three years.

TOM

He’s gotten worse.

MOM

There must be a way out.

TOM

Sure. Thin out the radishes. Pull the runts and get on with it.

SHEILA

There’s no other way.

MOM

There’s doors.

SHEILA

Doors are checked, double-checked, triple-checked.

BILL

They check the checks.

SHEILA

It’s what they do.

BILL

Check things.

MOM

Bill cares about something else. There’s another thing he cares about.

TOM

Money. Or something to put it in. Nothing’s possible, if you’re right enough. Or tight enough.

MOM

I’m talking to Bill.

SHEILA

Are you from Pensacola, Tom?

TOM

I’m from right here.

MOM

We can dress him in these clothes. They looked in the pockets.

TOM

An honest woman.

SHEILA

You got to have a badge. You can’t get out without a badge.

MOM

Give him your badge. Or Bill’s. What do you say, Bill.

BILL

Are you finished? You want me to knock?

SHEILA

If you’re finished, ma’am, just say so.

TOM

Don’t go, Mom. Sheila combed my hair for you.

BILL

If you’re done, I’ll knock and you can go home.

TOM

Thirty-thou’ll get me out. That’s the going rate for Bill. Commission for his mission. Or is it for fun? He gets to do stuff, Sheila. He gets to do stuff we don’t dare do.

MOM

We could just walk out. It’s possible.

TOM

Bill likes his job. He’s a company man.

SHEILA

They’d catch him sure. We’d be out of a job and he’d be back in. Things’ll just be worse than they are now. There’s only one way out. For Tom.

TOM

Two.

MOM

We can go to my sister’s. Near Orlando. I got a car. They won’t look. I drive careful. All they do is put out a bulletin. They don’t actually look. They’ll check the house. Once. That’s all. We can live at my sister’s. She goes to church twice a week, Bill. We could all go. Do you sing?

MOM

You go to church. I know you do. Not a Methodist. Baptist? Church of God? Assembly of God! That’s it. Isn’t it, Bill? Here in town. I know that church. They love Jesus there. Bill’s a good man. One good man can save the world. Just one is enough.

MOM

What song do you like best, Bill? That’s a singing church. What song, Bill?

TOM

Yeah, Bill. Tell us.

BILL

Yeah. They sing there.

MOM

You’d get married in a church.

BILL

I like Old Rugged Cross.

MOM

That’s a beautiful song. Bill, there’s hope for Tom? Don’t you think?

BILL

Sure. He’s coming along.

MOM

You want him to get out, don’t you Bill?

BILL

Of course. But you have to talk to Mr. White.

TOM

I love Jesus. It’s the Christians I can’t stand.

MOM

You got to live though. Right, Bill? You got to live.

BILL

Your sister lives in Orlando?

MOM

Near Orlando. It’s nice there. She’s got air conditioning.

SHEILA

They get the hurricanes there.

BILL

You get the wind and the rain but not the high tide.

MOM

Sheila, you got a child. A daughter? You understand. You’ll do anything.

SHEILA

There’s things I wouldn’t do.

MOM

But you’d do a lot.

SHEILA

That’s why I’m here. On this job. For her.

MOM

So you understand.

SHEILA

I understand where you’re coming from but if I screw up, I’d be on the street. I could lose her. I’m not taking any chances.

MOM

I just wanted to see if you understood. Not everybody understands.

SHEILA

I understand alright.

TOM

Everybody understands. Some are just quiet about it.

MOM

Your boss. Mr. White. He doesn’t understand.

SHEILA

Not his job.

BILL

Thinks it’s an army.

SHEILA

Smoke where and when permitted. Right, Bill?

SHEILA

I don’t blame White, really.

BILL

He’s scared of Murphy.

SHEILA

He’s got no one to take it out on but us techs.

BILL

And housekeeping.

SHEILA

I pity housekeeping.

BILL

People come up with stuff.

MOM

But Mr. White.

BILL

Try to say something at the out-of-focus meetings. Just try.

SHEILA

For starts, he yells at you for something old.

BILL

Barks like a dog.

SHEILA

‘Go away.’

BILL

You forget what you came for.

SHEILA

You can’t talk to the man.

BILL

Why try?

SHEILA

Except it’s your job. Talking.

BILL

I was looking for a job when I found this one.

SHEILA

Not a lot else happening.

BILL

I need to unwind in the middle of the week.

SHEILA

I’ll probably stay home and play with my kid tonight.

TOM

No cigar for Bill.

BILL

Talk them up and talk them down.

MOM

Sounds like a terrible person to work for.

BILL

He gets points for screaming.

SHEILA

Tom, what does your aunt do?

TOM

Who?

SHEILA

Your mom’s sister. In Orlando.

MOM

Near Orlando.

TOM

She waits.

MOM

She goes to church.

TOM

She waits in church. Or she waits at home. In front of the TV. At night she waits in bed and then it’s morning. She only charges a thousand a month for waiting at home. Two in here. Unless Bill cuts their losses. Somebody has to pay, right Bill? Waiting for nothing is boring, unless you lie good. Pretend to laugh. The clock is winding down, Ma. Money’s running out. Someday there won’t be enough to pay the waiters.

MOM

You have to get out of here. And come home with me. Make friends with the attendants.

TOM

Why did you kill my father?

MOM

I didn’t kill anyone. I don’t know where he is.

TOM

With a knife?

MOM

With nothing.

TOM

What did he look like?

MOM

He looked like you.

TOM

Let’s not do anything until they find the body.

MOM

There is no body.

TOM

What about my foster mothers?

MOM

What about them?

TOM

Where did you put them?

MOM

I didn’t put them anywhere. I’ve lost touch with Mrs. Gross. You want me to try and find her?

TOM

Yes. Try.

MOM

I will.

TOM

But don’t succeed. We’ll have so much to wish for.

MOM

You have to want to live. Without that, there’s nothing.

TOM

And lots of it.

MOM

Make friends.

TOM

Things’ll get hot then. Okay if I say that, Bill?

BILL

Say whatever you want.

TOM

There’s things I can’t say.

BILL

Yeah? Like what?

TOM

You tell me.

BILL

I haven’t got a clue.

MOM

Is there some where he could change? Don’t we get privacy?

TOM

I have to watch them. They’ve been violent.

MOM

You’re not in trouble? Mr. White said somebody had to be restrained.

TOM

I couldn’t do myself now could I?

Bill, who waits on the waiters? Who pays the waiters? And why? Just to keep the business going? Don’t think. Just work. Make baby. Feed baby. Watch commercial. If you complain too loud, if you keep people awake, restrain them. That’s good for Bill. He gets to do something. Can’t wait.

Who trains the trainers? What happens when the director figures it out? He’s been here a while. He could spring a leak soon.

I know there’s an opening. Maria’s. Looked just like a suicide, they shrugged. Bill’s a million times madder than me and he gets to go home. Car and everything. He’s getting worse. It’s a hospital after all. You can’t get mad enough to cancel my subscription. Can you, Bill?

MOM

Don’t talk that way. Bill, it’s just talk.

TOM

What about you, Bill? What are you waiting for? Sun spins around. Things dry up.

MOM

Has there been a death?

SHEILA

No. Maria lives on the floor. She’s fine.

TOM

Sheila’s right. It’s not in the past yet.

BILL

I think you better sit down.

TOM

Bill knows it too.

BILL

I want you to sit down. I want you to sit down now. Or I’m going to knock.

TOM

You just going to knock? Is that all you’re going to do, Bill?

BILL

I’m telling you one more time. Sit down or I knock.

TOM

I’m still standing.

SHEILA

I think he can stand up, Bill.

BILL

Fine. Stand up. I don’t care.

TOM

Chicken shit motherfucker. Assfucker. Murderer. Alien mutant son of a bitch.

BILL

You want to leave, all you have to do is ask.

TOM

An honest man would have killed me for that.

BILL

You the judge?

TOM

Am I threatening you?

BILL

I don’t think so.

TOM

You can still make it to the door. You can knock.

BILL

Don’t feel the need.

TOM

What do you need, Bill?

BILL

Right now?

TOM

Right now.

BILL

I need a cigarette.

SHEILA

If you want the meeting to be over, Tom, just say so.

TOM

Honest man.

MOM

I know I haven’t been a perfect mother.

TOM

I have already forgiven you for everything.

MOM

No you haven’t.

TOM

Next time, Mom, bring me a clown suit with a big nose and big shoes. I’ll look happy in that.

MOM

You could get bumped up.

TOM

Or off. You don’t live as long. Bill saves the governor thirty-thou each cut. Each year. Per body. Think about it. Ax-man. He’ll get a raise for that. I know Maria got a rise out of him. Her opening did. I don’t stand a chance. He only likes girls. Now. Maybe later. Not a good way to go but short, right Bill? Bill’s smart. He’ll figure it out. If I don’t flush him first.

MOM

Nobody wants to die.

TOM

Nobody wants nothing.

MOM

Don’t say that.

BILL

Time’s up.

MOM

Wait a minute. I’ve got another hour and a half.

SHEILA

Let’s go, Tom.

TOM

Just killing time, Ma. Bye.

MOM

Go your own way. I don’t care. I’ve had it with you. I’m never coming back. Never. I wanted to get you out today.

Make friends with Bill and Sheila.

MOM

Sheila, what about my extra time?

BILL

Mr. White is in his office.

Words 23 minutes