eknivsnikta@gmail.com

http://www.myspace.com/talltreesinthesun

 

 

 

DELIVERED

 

how is it that i've grown so weak

i can barely speak,

my soul leaks from my body,

a shell flecked with dour imagery,

eyes no longer see symmetry

with myself and the world.

 

how is it these words

seem much more than my hands

than my heart in my hands

than the blood through my fingertips

painting a parting gift

delivered by ghost ships exhaled in the night.

 

who is it who's sailing

the other way gallantly

carried by courage

by momentum of love--

for the sheer act of living

i succumb to her wake.

 

in these waters of time i drift endlessly

with my head above waves crashing

sharks eat my body

and i smile

at the

sunrise.

 

~

WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING

what others are doing
is agonizingly boring--
you hear good jazz
and you know that it's true;
you see an empty city
on a sunday afternoon
and you swoon.
it's amazing
what a room might say
when you're told not to enter,
when you write a love letter
to a chair
upside down
not in use.

 

~

 

DOING ZAZEN WHILE THEY CUT DOWN ANOTHER TREE OUTSIDE

counting my breath
as the chainsaw
kills me

dead on the ground
outside
counting the leaves

 

~

DÉJÀ VU

ice blue scene of morning
through the steam of washing dishes
and the distant chant
of an alarm clock
reflecting on a dream

remember
remember
i am experiencing this again
as the tea cools
still warm enough to drink.

~

 

CEMETERY CONTEMPLATIONS

 

I.

 

green, red, and yellow leaves

on an autumn tree,

standing before a

blue sky

with the sun

warm on my arms

and every sound

swirling round,

as i sit

and watch the insects crawl.

 

II.

 

brown pine needles

on the ground

amidst

dying grass

twigs

weeds

leaves

everything

a fallen blanket

for the earth.

 

III.

 

beautiful daughter

buried there,

old friend,

lost lover,

acquaintance,

stranger,

no one at all;

underneath the fallen leaves

we leave you

when you leave us...

but

we never go far.

 

~

 

FOR BUNNY

i drove back to the spot
where i'd run the rabbit over
with my car;
i drove back with a
daffodil
to place on its carcass,
which i had moved to the grass
on the side of the road--
only i
couldn't find it
right away.

i walked around
and eventually
slipped on its guts,
which were just a few feet away
from the rest,
its head torn off
and its spinal cord in view.

i carefully placed the flower
on top of the
bloody mess
that was once a
beautiful rabbit
just
trying to survive,
got back in my car
and drove away.

~

1,890 DAFFODILS

beat now,
but beatific blooms awaiting

inside of budding green sheaths,
waiting

upon

radiant stalks.

cut them
ten inches long,
ten to a bundle,
then holler when you reach

one hundred bundles.

the east indian bosses who speak like jolly mexicans
wander off into the field of daffodils...

row upon
glorious row
of muted yellow trumpets
waiting to be shipped off to
florists,
grocery stores,
old ladies,
lovers--
or waiting to burst the stalks' heads into song:

just the wind sweeping

bird notes
through the ears of the workers
plodding forth
through the rows.

 

~ 

 

HAIKU

 

I.

 

early evening jazz

on a thrift shop radio--

louder than the world

 

II.

 

a cheap room for me

and everything else for you,

if you desire

 

III.

 

in tijuana

some women don't want to talk,

but will till i'm broke

 

IV.

 

now that she's asleep

in this house, nothing's stirring

but these thoughts of mine...

 

~

 

BIRD-BRAINED THOUGHTS

BEFORE ANOTHER DAY

(AFTER SKINNY PUPPY)

 

...gloom hell gloom

insane

gloom

the bell

nothing matters

ring

respond

nothing

sing a song

without your ears

the heart

moves

reward the grey skies

loom

to reap

you cannot keep

just go away

insane

them looking after

moving faster

fall asleep

the bells

from hell

there are none

is no

trees attacking birds

the bird

a skeletal response

a hungry dance

lost blood

no shit.

 

~

 

TRAVELOGUE

 

when are you leaving?

 

it doesn't matter what they say about travel

it doesn't matter if you

immediately want to return

it doesn't matter if

once you've traveled the whole world

you are no better off than you were before

it doesn't matter that you'll be treated as a

foreigner

it doesn't matter that you might get sick

or that you might wind up in jail

or that you might be sentenced to death

because their rules are different

it doesn't matter that you'll be uncomfortable

it doesn't matter that your

car will break down

it doesn't matter that you will bump into

many dull and equally fascinating people

it doesn't matter that you'll get laid

it doesn't matter

that the only action you'll get

is the opening of the great pink sky

beyond the rocky mountain breasts

it doesn't matter that you'll sleep

on floors and in beds

it doesn't matter that you'll stay awake

for hours on end

it doesn't matter that there won't be anything for

days

it doesn't matter that the rain will

never end

it doesn't matter that the

tv in your motel room

will be functioning properly

it doesn't matter that the alien silence

will sound no less silent

than it does at home

it doesn't matter

that you may

never return

it doesn't matter

that they all will leave

eventually

it doesn't matter

until it does

for here i'm only

speculating.

 

travelogue:

 

i leave without knowing,

yet i am not an aimless wanderer.

my aim is to wander,

and i'll know

when i arrive.

 

for sanity

 

i want to go crazy in iowa,

get off the bus in des moines

and walk away from you

for good.

 

but i'll stay on board

to learn a little more

while i still have the choice.

 

denial

 

sober

something moves me through this strange, quiet town

beneath great mountains

that may as well be

made of cardboard.

 

i've smoked enough cigarettes

and denied myself enough food

to transform my body into a thin and ghost-like form.

 

perhaps it's the air

that keeps me going...

 

and i think:

i could lie down and die

right here on the sidewalk--

but i don't know how...

 

and so i continue

and happen upon three beautiful deer

wandering the empty streets.

 

perhaps they are searching for food.

 

i pass them by

and find my way to a gas station

to buy some candy.

 

wandering back

i leave a little piece for the deer.

 

for no one

 

beer and cigarettes

a lonely town

a failed attempt at

phone sex

with a distant girl

a sunrise outside

a pulled blue curtain

and a world

inside a tv

within a murder

two murders

two lives

a child

a gun

a reason for a poem

for

absolutely

no one.

 

northern new mexico

 

smile and

laugh with the bizarre--

while the moon slides through

a single eyebrow in the sky

and the face disappears

over a thousand miles...

 

to you

 

my true love

i am coming home

to a home that could be

anywhere

as long as

you are there

to see what

i see

in

you.

 

~

 

USELESS BUOY

 

i miss you...

 

i can’t believe you went away.

 

i’m as lonely as an

empty world

in an empty space

in a

meaningless

universe;

while you’re on the

other side

with one hell of a perspective...

 

will you tell me

how things are

some day?

 

will you miss me,

trade the

yin

for the yang?

 

without our balance

this body floats across the

senseless seas--

 

a buoy

you no longer need.

 

~

 

BREAKFAST SONG

 

birds,

one and then

three

and now a wave of them

piercing the morning air

and my brain

with beautiful beaks full of song...

 

~

 

IN WALKED BUD

 

will the tree

blossom overnight if i

let go my eyes

soft as

petals

 

the lids will seem so

seriously

beautiful,

 

to fall without gravity

 

here, let me

pause

for a

strong leg of giant

has

rooted itself

 

ready to

kick apart Spring

with a

stomach of

flowering things  

 

~

 

SLOBBER IN MOONLIGHT

 

wrestled and

growled

and

slobbered upon,

their eyes a-sparkle

with the momentary pleasures

of a smiling belly scratch.

 

i walk with them through

wet grass in the

evening

as they

laugh inside their

black coats shining

with the

moon

 

~

 

PLEASE ADJUST THE HUE

 

we were huddled up in blankets and mesmerized by various televisions,

awaiting the night to bring sleep to our weary eyes.

and even though we say we love humanity

we'd much rather watch it

lifelessly trapped inside twenty-two inch screens.

the people in there are easier to get along with.

and even though there are times when they go against our wishes,

cause us to jump and shout, or cry to ourselves,

we forgive them, in time,

and hope that tomorrow's episode

will give us a chance to reestablish our faith.

but until then

what on earth are we to do?

stare at the sky?

it's the wrong color blue.

 

~

 

BLUE

 

blue the birds are waiting

blue the sun is

humming for renewal

blue the sky

is crying

for a tool to make the nighttime

run away

blue the color

of the tv screen

when you pass out drunk and

wake up jobless

blue is the color

that the sky should be

on a perfectly cloudless day

and blue is the tint

your skin turns

when the plastic of life

knocks you down in the dirt

and the sky grows quite heavy

as the rain

chills your fingers

 

~

 

TOO MUCH TAO

 

maybe words can

lead you to the truth

or

maybe words can

transform the truth

or

maybe words

are the truth

or

maybe there is no truth...

or maybe the truth was there

but it disappeared after we

learned how to say

the word

 

~

 

A CHANGE OF MIND

 

she told me:

if you don’t see me around for a while,

it is because i am committing myself to an institution;

they said it would be the best thing for me to do

right now...

 

and i didn’t see her around

for a good, long while...

 

then one day—

three or four months later—

she came by for a visit.

we talked

and she told me that she had changed her mind—

she was feeling much better;

then she placed some flowers by my bed

and left,

as visiting hours we’re over,

and it was time for my medication.

 

i hate being here;

but they say that it’s the best thing for me right now—

at least until they change their minds.

 

~

 

SEMANTIC DEPRIVATION LOVE SONG

 

words don’t mean anything the word

mean

doesn’t mean anything

the word word

doesn’t

mean anything the word anything doesn’t mean

anything

anything

doesn’t mean a word anything doesn’t

mean

a word means nothing nothing doesn’t

mean a word means anything

nothing

isn’t the opposite of anything everything isn’t

the opposite of nothing isn’t isn’t

the opposite of words

meaning i means

not much meaning you

means

just about everything else except me meaning

nothing at all

except

you

you the word

meaning:

not

us